I pout. I am good at pouting. Ask my dad.

Picture this: an amazing family vacation to Disney World – “The Happiest Place On Earth.” I’m around 4-5 years old .. I don’t remember. Seriously – ask my dad.

I’m standing there in the middle of the walkway in my wind pants and Minnie Mouse ears. Arms crossed and a major pout-scrunch-face at Disney World. All because: “I had to share an ice cream bar with my brother.” It’s the alleged reason – but I’m not going to dispute this one, guys. I was a something else.

So I can commit to a major pout mode for a variety of reasons; however, I am always (usually) proactive about them. I look at a mess and try to find a bright side and/or way to move forward – but it is not easy.

Let’s see how vague but still accurate I can be here ……

Say you have been working towards obtaining a goal for the last two years … it was a primary opportunity for growth. So much potential … But it is hard to catch the catalyst that makes this dream become a reality. The entity that can give me answers and put their trust into me to not let them down. Finally caught that elusive opportunity on a cold call drive by in the city. Hallelujah!

Meeting went great. At the exact same time, I ran into a poker pal that could (literally) vouch for me and my character. I was ecstatic! So much excitement and planning to do. Then a few months pass – No word. Within a few months – other parts of my life shifted and propelled me into a new direction.

===Side note: the internet knows you better than you do===

Kismet: destiny … A social media Friend Request turned into new homeboy of mine that would connect me with that distant hope once again – since they were long time family friends. This must mean it was meant to be! Fate is beckoning me to take a chance!

I went for it. Shot in the dark again with a totally new direction with an entirely new vision that was my own. A new future full of great things that I would turn into a series of opportunities and open doors.

Meeting went great. Second time in 3 months. Jump starting this new journey with a solid foundation. Ready to go. Super excited. Added to my calendar – even the paper calendar I keep in my pantry closet. Super cereal, guys.

A week and a half passes then it comes to a halt … not by choice … but there is no escaping the all encompassing meaning of the small print that you autographed two years ago when you had visions of making something great.

I scheduled another meeting.

Meeting went great. Third time in a week in a half. What an amazing conference with this person. He looked right through me and saw that I was lost. We sat for an hour and talked about life and decisions and the perception of literally everything. We talked about difficult situations and overcoming adversities.

I felt the weight of my decisions weighing heavy on my shoulders. I got in my car and left.

It’s a cold dark night in January. Apparently it’s supposed to snow tonight – or so I hear. Music on shuffle – gets me in a thinking mode – which turned into a motivation session as soon as the song “Set It All Free” sang by Scarlett Johansson from the 2016 computer-animated musical comedy film, Sing, popped into my shuffle … I have a 4 year old … and we like that song …

I refuse to start a new chapter of my life in strife. I withdraw my name and my offer. I am not going to put my newly founded mentor into a situation that we both know could be harmful to me. As much as I wanted to pout, there was no time for that. No time for “why nots” … only time for “what nows.” What now?

Tbc ……

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